Falling into Wonderland
by Mad as a March Hare
Summary: "Everyone is entitled to their own sorrow, for the heart has no metrics or form of measure. And all of it... irreplaceable." AU where wonderland wasn't real and Alice was alone. Character death


_Once Upon a Time_

Alice sat in front of the mirror placed on her stark white vanity, staring, but never moving. She had been there for quite some time, but didn't seem to notice that the sun had gone to bed and that the moon was now making it's assent into the velvet night. After all, what did it matter anymore? What was a day and what was a night? Light was just the same as dark to her. It held the same feeling.

_A little girl fell down a rabbit hole._

She had been locked in her room since she had told her mother about her adventures in Underland. Her mother had always had some sort of suspicion that her daughter was a bit...off as she called it, but apparently, Alices' story was the tipping point. She had been taken to her room and left there without so much as a word. And how long ago had that been? A month? Two? She didn't think that it mattered anymore. Time had apparently become offended with her meddling and decided to leave her completely.

_And found a world of Wonder and Beauty..._

She supposed she should be angry with her mother. But she wasn't. Not really. If anything, she was numb. Numb and confused and angry and scared and hurt and lonely so many emotions that she couldn't even begin to think straight. A hoarse, bitter laugh rose in her throat before it died on her tongue. That was the point wasn't it? That's why mother sent her doctors everyday to try and fix her broken mind. But her mind wasn't broken. Not much anyway. Just... chipped. And not even for the reasons they thought.

_She met many wonderful people, who took her in and played with her and loved her and never scolded her for eating too much jam_

Drawings cover her once blue walls. Drawings of mad tea parties and big headed queens and beautiful white ones and a rabbit with a waistcoat and a man with flaming orange hair and a large top hat and- oh!

Alice smiled as she thought of a certain hatter. His big eyes haunted her dreams and his lisping voice flew in and out of her ears as she sat. Those silly doctors didn't know anything about anything if they thought that Hatter wasn't real. Why, his vast supply of muchness (the same type which he had helped her find) made him more of a real being then those white clad men!

_The girl thought the world very wonderful and pleasant,_

Standing, Alice made her way to the window. Staring out into the night, the girl took in her families vast gardens. The tree's looked solemn and stately in the pale night, and the flower beds were dancing with their blooms swaying softy in the night air. Yes, Alice decided. That must have been exactly what they were doing. It was a perfect night to hold a flower ball, and she was sure that the petunias would not want to miss a chance to show off their extensive showcase of footwork.

__And was so enchanted with it's inhabitants,__

Turning her attention away from the flower ball, Alice noted with a start, that there was a rather large rabbit hole directly under her window! Throwing open the glass frame, she stuck her head out of the open hole to get a better look. It couldn't be! The last time she had seen a rabbit hole this large was at her engagement party to Hamish! No, she decided, this was simply too good to be true. Nodding her head in a decisive manner, she was about to close the window when a soft voice called out to her from the hole.

"Alice"

Eye's widened, Alice almost lost her footing due too the reckless way she thrust her head back out the window. A small gasp followed by a wide smile was made apparent by the sight below her eyes. Standing there, looking completely beautiful and frivolous and wonderful, was her Hatter.

"Hatter!" she called back, not caring how loud her voice became, "You're here!" voice softening, Alice blushed and stared down at her friend

"I've missed you Hatter."

_That she decided to stay there forever._

"Aye lass, me as well. Ahm here to take ya back to Underland." Hatter replied, voice never raising as his usual lisp was replaced with a thick, Scottish brogue. Alice found that odd, since Hatter only ever spoke like that when he was very angry or very hungry or very surprised or very anything. Since he didn't seem to be very angry, and didn't appear to be very hungry, she wondered what he was feeling so Very about.

"Hatter, do you mean that I can go back? I can go back to Underland?" When the only reply that she received was a small nod, Alice felt her heart soar. She could go back! She would be able to see all of her friends again and have adventures and everything! Feeling slightly giddy at the thought, Alice called back out to the hat wearing man,

"But Hatter, how do I get there?"

"Yeh 'ave to go down th hole lass. Same as always yah see."

"But my door is locked Hatter, I can't come down."

"Then yah'll 'ave ta jump Alice. Don't worry, Ah'll catch yah."

Alice didn't even hesitate as she crawled up onto the window frame. Standing tall while holding onto the side of the frame, she looked down at her Hatter. He was standing in the hole (though she didn't know how), with his arms out, waiting to catch her. Bright green eyes stared back at her with emotions running hitter skitter through their wide depths.

_Once Upon a Time_

"Jump Alice, and we can go back. We can go back together."

_A little girl found a land that was beautiful and wonderful and perfect_

Letting go, Alice let herself fall.

_And so full of happiness and joy_

She felt no panic as she fell. Only joy at being able to see Wonderland again.

_That she decided to leave her own, dreary world behind_

She fell into the waiting arms of the Hatter and felt an overwhelming peace as something warm filled her mouth.

_And stay there forever._

"...Curiouser and Curiouser..."

* * *

**A/N: There we go! I hoped you guys liked this...I've had it in my head for awhile now, just never got it out. Anyway, if you are wondering, yes, Alice was in fact, bonkers (as all the best people are), and is now in fact, dead. Wonderland was completely in her head, something she had made as a cooping mechanism when her father died in a tragic accident. By making a world where everything was right and wonderful and perfect, she could escape the harsh reality of her own world. **

**I know that this was really poorly written and everything, but please forgive me! I have been super tired lately and haven't felt like writing, so this is kind of like a kick in my own pants to get me going again. To all my readers that are waiting for updates on Monster in Me and L'artiste et le fantome, it is coming soon. Like I said, this was just kind of a kick in the pants to get myself going. Expect an update sometime within the next week or so on both. **

**Okay. So, if anyone has question, comments, reviews, helpful hits, cupcakes recipes or flames, be sure to submit them and let me know! I love hearing from you all, so yeah. Happy writer = more updates. **

**Love ya freaks!**

**Ryan**


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